Endings
When Therapy Ends: Why Goodbyes Matter
We don’t talk about endings enough and this is especially the case in therapy.
When you start therapy sessions, there’s often a sense of urgency, hope, or overwhelm. You’re focused on getting through something, not how it will eventually wrap up. And yet, how therapy ends can be just as important as how it begins, maybe even more so.
Let’s talk about why.
Starting Therapy With the Ending in Mind
This might sound strange: Why would I think about the ending before I’ve even begun?
But here’s the truth – therapy works best when it’s approached as a process with a beginning, middle, and end. It’s not meant to last forever. It’s meant to support you, strengthen you, and eventually let you move forward more fully on your own.
Still, it can be hard to think about endings at the beginning. Here are some of the reasons why:
- You might be in survival mode
- You fear abandonment or loss
- You’ve never experienced a healthy goodbye before
- It feels vulnerable to admit you might need help for only a while
You may not know who you will be after this
All these are normal, and experienced practitioners will be used to these worries and concerns. They will help to guide you in the early sessions to consider what it is you want to achieve by having some therapy.
So, when a therapist introduces the idea of eventual closure early on, it’s not to push you out. It’s to say:
“Together, we can sort this out and make sense of it.”
An experienced practitioner will offer time and space to tell your story without interruption or judgement. They will ask questions for the purpose of clarity. They will gain a sense of who you are and what you want to achieve.
Why Endings in Therapy Feel Big
Even when you are ready to leave, endings can still stir something deep:
- Pride in your growth
- Sadness about letting go of a safe space
- Fear of losing a source of support
- Or even relief, which can feel confusing
This emotional mix doesn’t mean you’re doing anything wrong. On the contrary, it just means the situation mattered.
A Healthy Ending Can Be Healing
In your final sessions, your therapist may help you:
- Reflect on your journey
- Celebrate your resilience
- Talk through what’s next
- Grieve the ending, if needed
- Reinforce the tools you now carry with you
It’s not about closing a door; it’s about walking through it intentionally.
Many people have never experienced a goodbye where they felt seen, heard, and respected. A good ending in therapy can gently rewrite that story.
Things do not always go to plan!
Not all therapy endings are planned. Sometimes life changes – you move, schedules shift, circumstances changes. Or maybe it felt like things were left unfinished.
If that’s the case, you can still return to close the chapter, even briefly. One final session to reflect and say goodbye can bring more peace than you’d expect.
So, some more general points to think about:
Ending therapy doesn’t mean the work is over. It means something inside you is stronger now. More integrated. More whole.
And while goodbyes are often hard, they’re also moments of deep power — especially when they happen with clarity and care.
Thinking About the Ending?
Do you have a situation which needs to come to an end?
A relationship, a career, a friendship, a habit?
Before deciding, it may help you to have a chat. I offer a free, no obligation chat on the phone or via Zoom so you can ask the questions you may have, and I can tell you more about the multi-modal approach.
If you’re beginning therapy or considering wrapping up it’s good to talk about it openly.
Whether you’re just starting out or nearing the end, I believe in holding every part of the journey with intention.
Whatever the case, you don’t have to figure it out alone.
Endings make space for something different, something new.